If creating the world we want means getting people to change what they currently do, how can we get people to change?

That’s a question we hear a lot when we tell people what we’re doing at Creating the Future. We share that we are building a movement for making visionary community results the norm in social change work, rather than the exception. And the standard response is, “That sounds great. But how will you get people to change their ways?”

Consultants and funders and people involved in capacity building work all seem to live with the same frustrations. How do we get people to change?

Here’s what we’ve found about “getting people to change.”

People will change their habits if they are inspired to change.

People won’t change because you tell them to. They won’t change because it’s best practice or because that’s what other groups are doing. They won’t change if you scare them into doing it (they may DO something differently, but they won’t change how they feel about it, which I can guarantee will rear its head somewhere else, when you least expect it…).

But people will move mountains if they are inspired to do so.

So if we want to change norms, change culture, change habits, the recipe is simple:

1. Meet people where they are, with what they think they need.
2. Open the window just a crack, so they can see what’s possible beyond their comfort zone. Create the environment that inspires them and gives them the confidence to take that small step.
3. And for those early adopters who are absolutely ready to take huge leaps forward, provide the means for them to do so as well.

Think about your mission from the top down and from the bottom up. From the people who can’t wait to make massive changes, and the people who believe they just need a little tweak.

Whether it’s about eating one more helping of vegetables a day or changing food policy; about quitting smoking or banning smoking; about learning 3 new consulting tricks or transforming your practice…

How can you meet people where they are, with compassion and wisdom, and then inspire them to just take that next small step into what is possible?

This week, though, instead of reaching into the archives for a favorite, I’m sharing one that is already becoming a favorite – and it just aired last week!

John Stansfield’s life has been one social change story after another.  Prior to our interview, John told me, “I’ve been living out a life sentence in social change, with no time off for good behavior!”

And what has he learned in all that time?

• That change happens when we reach as high as we can.
• That change happens when we share our story in a way people can relate to.
• That change happens when we make the work so much fun, others want to join in!

(Just one look at John’s press photo and you know this interview will absolutely be fun!)

John backs up his thinking with stories from his anti-hunger work with OxFam New Zealand.

He tells of the David-and-Goliath effort he was part of, as New Zealand’s Problem Gambling Foundation went up against the gambling industry.

And he talks about his role in Guerilla Gardening projects in his home community on Waiheke Island (including his own take on subversive community engagement / aka gardening in the front yard).

I had a blast talking with John, and I know you will not only enjoy this interview but be motivated to start your week with a ROAR!

You can stream this interview online from the Chronicle’s website: Listen here

Or you can download and listen via iTunes (I recommend listening on your way to work – you will absolutely be motivated!): Download here

Here’s to a great start of a great week!

Making Change has some of the best content on social change you can find anywhere. And I don’t feel boastful saying so, because the content all comes from amazing guests, with amazing experience in creating change.

This week’s highlighted interview is with Peter Block – author, consultant, teacher and inspired advocate for the power of communities. You can listen to the interview / conversation via the player below, or you can download it from iTunes here.

(If you are reading this in your email, the player may not appear below. Please click through here and listen at the blog online.)

The thread that runs through all of Peter’s work is the theme of creating communities that work for all of us, whether those communities are workplaces, neighborhoods, or Peter’s own home community of Cincinnati, Ohio.   Not surprising to readers here, Peter has found that communities that aim at creating what is possible, rather than fixing what is wrong, are far more likely to create visionary, transformational change.

Enjoy listening – and if you have thoughts as you listen, please note them in the comments!

Photo Credit: “Schnäggli” per Wikimedia Commons

This weekend, we finished entirely revising our Community Engagement Action Kit. And so this whole subject is on my brain a lot.

When we use Community Engagement as just one more tool in the toolbox, yes, it is a powerful tool. But when engaging the community becomes your group’s way of being in all its work – well look out!

First, our definition of Community Engagement:

Community Engagement is the process of building relationships with community members who will work side-by-side with you as an ongoing partner, to make the community a better place to live. Considered from the perspective of that two-way relationship, Community Engagement is the organizational equivalent of friendship.

As we know from our real lives, friendship isn’t something we “do.” It’s something we “be.” So how can you infuse that way of being into everything your organization does?

These 3 steps will get you started.

Step 1: What Do We Need to Accomplish, and How Can Engaging the Community Further Those Goals?
The very first step is to consider all your organization’s goals for the year. The goals of your Community Impact Plan. The goals of your Organizational Wellness Plan. The goals of your Program Development Plans. And the goals of all your other plans.

How could all those goals be enhanced by engaging your community more deeply in your work?

Try this: For each of the following sample goals, name at least 3 ways that goal could be enhanced by engaging people in your community. And think about what kinds of people that might be.

• Goal: Create a new program to address an unmet need you have uncovered.
• Goal: Create a succession plan for your Executive Director
• Goal: Expand the reach of an existing program into a new neighborhood.
• Goal: Choose a goal from one of your own plans.

Step 2: Who to Engage?
For each of the opportunities you uncovered in Step 1, list the types of people you could engage to enhance that effort.

Whose lives are touched by the issue at the heart of that goal? Perhaps it is parents of young children – or the young children themselves. Perhaps it is elected officials. Or neighborhood residents. School principals. Public Safety employees.

For example, if your goal is to create a succession plan, your list might include:
• Other executive directors
• HR specialists
• Corporate leaders / local corporate boards who may have recently gone through an executive transition

From there, list names of people. For now, it doesn’t matter so much if you know those people – you can always be introduced by a mutual acquaintance. But the bottom line is that we can’t engage categories of people – we can only engage with real humans. So create a list of names.

Try this: For each of the opportunities you listed in Step 1, list at least 3 types of people or groups whose lives have been touched by that issue. Then for each of those types, list at least 3 people to engage.

Step 3: How to Engage?
The ways to engage are as many as the stars in the sky – or the people in your community! One-on-one meetings over coffee, small group meetings, events, presentations – the list is as long as your imagination, and will rely entirely on what you are trying to accomplish by engaging in the first place!

What you will quickly find in these activities is that Community Engagement is fun. That’s because it is tapping on the passion you have for making a difference in your community.

Because of that, Community Engagement is a great way to engage your board. Unlike fundraising, with Community Engagement, board members don’t have to ask for anything but someone’s wisdom, ideas and passion. And that is always fun!

Try this: For each of the types of people noted in Step 2, list at least 2 ways you might engage those groups or individuals.

Once you begin engaging the community in the work your organization is doing, you will see that the benefits move beyond the ideas you had in Step 1. And that is because the real goal of Community Engagement is building an engaged community – a huge part of what creates the healthy, vibrant places we all want to live.

Half Price – only $13.99
We are selling out the 1st edition of the Community Engagement Action Kit, clearing the shelves to make room for the revised and expanded 2nd Edition.  At $13.99 / book, click here now to get your copy (or get copies for all your board!).

Photo: Found this picture hanging on the wall at a McDonald’s – art is everywhere!

In today’s world, is an annual report of the traditional kind important for nonprofits? Smaller as well as larger? We are debating how much money and staff time to put into some kind of publication – we haven’t done a paper newsletter in a couple of years, and typically do a monthly enews that’s got a very different purpose and focus – the paper one is stories and pictures that really give a feel for the big picture; the enews is more “here’s what’s happening this month that you can do.” Our annual report has been very traditional – pretty pictures, stories and the financials and donors. Curious what people you talk to think gives you the most bang for the buck/time/effort!

My response was simple – don’t ask me, ask them!

Which brings me to the two reasons I smiled so wide when I got this note. First, last night we sent out Creating the Future’s monthly e-newsletter.  This month’s newsletter is dedicated entirely to Community Engagement, to celebrate the 5 Year anniversary of FriendRaising. It appears Jenny was penning her note to me at almost the exact moment we were sending her the answer!

The second reason has to do with the way we have been building Creating the Future – making all our decisions by engaging transparently with everyone who might be affected by those decisions. There have been several reasons for our doing things that way, one of which is simply to model what that might look like if you were to engage more transparently in your own work.

So let’s turn the blog into a mini-classroom right here, right now.

Off the top of your head, share with us a decision you are wrestling with.

If you work at an organization, perhaps it’s a discussion you’ve been having around the office, trying to decide on an approach to some problem or opportunity. Perhaps it’s a strategic direction for the organization, or an item you’ve been bumping from meeting to meeting on your board’s agenda.

For consultants, it could be a new direction for your consulting practice, or a book you’re thinking about writing.

For anyone at all, it could be something in your personal life.

Share at least one of those decisions right here in the comments.

Let’s all brainstorm together how engaging others in your decision-making might enhance your decision AND your work overall. And let’s come up with a list of people you might engage.

Let’s start breaking down those walls of transparency right here now!

We’ve had an idea for a program at Creating the Future, and in following our own advice, we don’t want to launch anything until we get all the possible insights we can.  Programs are so much more effective when they’re built by the people who will use them!

This will be a program for people who are working in the trenches – executive directors, social entrepreneurs, board members (as opposed to consultants or funders). It would be small chunks of education, going deep into targeted topics, sent monthly via audio and worksheets.

We’re thinking about calling them Flash Classes.

Our Thinking
There is a ton of information available to program leaders about traditional ways of doing everything from governance to fundraising.

Many people are frustrated that those systems don’t seem to be working for them. But because they are the only systems around, those individuals begin to feel, “Maybe it’s just me,” rather than “Maybe those systems aren’t effective!”

Frustration sets in.

We know this because it is what people tell us when they find articles and videos at our site.

“Where have you been all these years? I’m so tired of banging my head against the wall and being told if I just do more of the same, I’ll get better results.

“But finding your stuff is so refreshing! It is the exact perspective we’ve been searching for – something that will bring us far closer to what we know in our hearts we can accomplish!”

To date, finding practical advice on how regular organizations can create extraordinary community change has required that folks find the articles at our website, or read my books.

If we want this sector to achieve its potential, however, information about how to reach for what is possible has to be just as ubiquitous as the traditional advice currently is. It can’t just be in an article or two at our site, or a book or two. It needs to become the norm.

And the first step towards that becoming reality is that the information be significantly more accessible. More abundant. Everywhere.

The Flash Classes are part of that effort. The goal is simple: Provide small chunks of education that make it easy to do an organization’s day-to-day work in ways that are more effective at making a bigger difference in the community.

Topics
We’ve been thinking about two topics to start with:
• Governance and Planning
• Building and Sustaining Strong Programs

Governance and Planning
How do we reach for our board’s potential to make a difference – the reason we got on the board in the first place? What does that mean for recruitment? What does that mean for policies? What does that mean for our agenda? How can we re-energize our board? How can we increase attendance at meetings? How can we deal with micromanagement?

How can our planning make a bigger difference, for our organization and mostly for our community? How can we make it less reactive, moving us forward? How can we get past the same old problems, year after year? How can we reach our organization’s potential to make a difference in the community?

Each of those topics and a slew more would all be addressed from the perspective of creating maximum impact in the community – the focus of everything at Creating the Future.

Building and Sustaining Strong Programs
How can we build programs that accomplish more for our community? How can we embrace others who do similar work, rather than always competing with them? How can we ensure our programs survive? How can we collaborate without all the “stuff” that sometimes comes with collaboration? What does community engagement mean anyway?

And again, these topics and a ton more would all be addressed through the Creating the Future lens.

Format
We’ve been thinking these would audio classes, so people can listen in their car, while they work out or at their desk. They would be quick – hence the name “Flash Classes” – 20-30 minutes apiece, going deeply into a narrow topic each month. Each class would provide exercises and a worksheet.

We also want these to be VERY inexpensive – under $10/month – so that organizations can’t afford NOT to have their ED or board chair learn. We’re thinking there would be no obligation to sign up for a whole year – that again we make it accessible so people can jump in for under $10 and jump out whenever they want.

Prior to signing up, we would want to have a full sample class that someone could listen to, complete with worksheet, so they could see if it is for them without having to pay for it.

Help Us Figure It Out…
So before we head much further down the road with this idea, we want to know from you:

1. Overall, what is it about this that you find interesting or exciting? What is ho-hum?
2. What has been your experience with similar classes? If you’ve been in a program like this, has it been helpful?
3. Do you think there is a need for this kind of “quick and deep” education?
4. If you are an ED or board member, what questions would you want answered before you would consider trying the classes?
5. Are the two threads – Governance and Sustainability – of interest? If not, what topics might be? (We want to start out with only 2 threads of topics, so we don’t make ourselves crazy.)
6. Is the format reasonable – listen in the car or at your desk, with a worksheet? If not, what makes more sense?
7. What about the name – Flash Classes?
8. Is there something we missed? What do you think it would take for a program like this to be successful, given its goal that there be effective learning about new/different approaches at a VERY LOW price point?

I am sure I have left something out, both in the information and in the questions. So please help us flesh out our thinking. If we decide to do this, we want to launch in the next few weeks, so people can start their year out learning.

Your thoughts, please!

Individual organizations begin reaching out to others doing similar work. They hold summits and host ongoing discussions. They create plans.

Often, great things happen from that work.  Yes, we hear about collaborations that fail, but much like the news media, stories of group efforts that thrive are not nearly as much fun to share as stories of disaster.

When I hear of these efforts – both the successes and the failures – the same question always arises for me:

What is happening with groups that succeed, that is not happening with those who fail?

That question was a big part of the discussion I had in my latest interview for the Chronicle of Philanthropy – an interview with the amazing Nancy Hunt, co-founder of the amazing We Are Family Foundation. (And they are both amazing – really!)

In my post yesterday, I told a bit about the history of the foundation – the phoenix that rose from the horror of the September 11 attacks.  From Nancy and Nile’s initial music-based efforts to bring people together, their work grew to bringing activists together – more to the point, young activists.

In the interview, Nancy shares stories of the kind of community results that are so often labeled “impossible.”  And while those results are truly astounding, for me the teachable moments in the interview are about how that happens – how we can turn gatherings of disparate individuals into closely knit groups, seemingly capable of leaping tall buildings in a single bound.

You can listen to the interview streaming online, or download it to your MP3 player.

I know you are going to get a lot out of this interview. I recommend listening twice – once on your way to work or during your daily workout, and then again with a pad and paper. I am that certain it will spark your thinking!

I can’t wait to hear your thoughts after listening. My sincerest gratitude to Nancy for giving us much to chew on!

If you think others will benefit from hearing this interview, please share the links with your own social networks – post it to your Facebook and Twitter accounts, start a LinkedIn discussion, or just send the link to your board. Let’s start elevating the discussion about what it will take to create the future of our communities!

A month ago, I posted about the solace and meaning we can find in each other – not just in those with whom we agree, but in all of us, living and being on this planet together.

Today those thoughts feel even more pertinent than they felt a month ago.

And so, begging your indulgence, I am re-posting those thoughts here, but adding a gift at the end – a video that I hope will help you find connection in this election week, when the media is doing its best to convince us that connection is rare.  Because it is not rare. It is, in fact, all around us.

October 1, 2010

Summer is lingering far too long here in the Arizona desert.  So every day, I check the newspaper forecast to see when we will finally see autumn.

Today’s paper told me that in several days, there is a 5% chance of rain.  And I found myself throwing down the paper in total exasperation.  ”Really?” I said aloud to the dog, “A 5% chance it will rain?”

Translated to a more useful forecast, there is a 95% chance things will be sunny and clear. Yet as they do every day, the weather prognosticators focused their limited newspaper ink not on what was likely, but on what was unlikely.

What does that have to do with building a world where we naturally and reflexively treat all beings with kindness?  Everything.

Kindness is the norm. Kindness surrounds us everywhere and all the time.

UNkindness is the exception.  Despite what we see on the news, people are not overwhelmingly horrible to each other. If they were, life would be unlivable.  (And in fact, in those rare places where UNkindness is the norm, life is, in fact, unlivable.)

And yet we believe that exception is the norm.

That belief no doubt stems from our fears of how horrible that exception can be and often is.  But that doesn’t make it true.

Our deeply held belief that unkindness is the norm influences everything about the lives we lead, the work we do, the laws we pass.  Our assumptions guide our actions.

Studies may find that we are, at our core, empathic beings.  Given our deeply held beliefs that that is not true, we choose to ignore those studies. We look instead for signs that reinforce our beliefs that deep down we are all greedy, fear-driven, ego-centric beings who will, left to our own devices, act badly.

“We are what we think,” said the Buddha. “All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we create the world.”

There is a 95% chance it will be sunny today. There is a better-than-even chance that you will find kindness all around you today.

What would it make possible – in our work, in our nations, in our politics, in our lives – if that kindness was what we conditioned ourselves to expect?

As you go about your work and your life this week, what would it make possible if you faced the people around you with humility, with grace? If you smiled as you let them go ahead of you, literally and figuratively?

“You go, then I’ll go.” I am awed by the possibility that simple act can bring.

Have a great Monday, and a great week, all!

The video at the original post from October 1 includes a talk by Jeremy Rifkin, sharing studies to back up the observation that we are, in fact, empathic beings. You can see that here.

I was preparing a pre-reading list for a client – the list of readings and video clips that allow our precious face-to-face time to be more meaningful.  This workshop will be about engagement, and so I flipped through the books I’ve written on those subjects, to cite pages for them to read.

I’ve been wanting to update FriendRaising for a while now. In January, the book will be 5 years old, and we’ve learned a lot since then!  And so while I was double checking the page numbers for the reading assignment, I started reading.

It’s such an odd thing to read something I wrote 5 years ago and haven’t really read since then.  I found myself enjoying the book as if someone else had written it (something you don’t have the privilege to do when you are in the 487th rewrite, awaiting a publishing date).

And then I came to this section. It stopped me. I read every word. I teared up – my own writing and I teared up. And I realized that what I have learned in 5 years is that I believe this even more now.

So I thought I would share that section with you here.  It is a section that comes at the beginning of the book, as Strategy #6.  The strategy is labeled “Know the Rules of Friendship.”

My hope is that you will bookmark this post. And that the next time you hear someone talking about “raising friends for your organization” as simply a prerequisite mechanism to asking for money, that you will send this to them. Enjoy!

My mom is 81 years old. Her best friend passed away a few years ago. Eileen and my mom had been friends for almost 60 years.

They met in their late teens, working as secretaries in New York City’s garment district in the early 1940′s. Meeting at the elevator, they realized they were both walking to the same subway. From the subway, they realized they were both getting off at 183rd Street. They were both young and cute and sassy, ending the day laughing on the way home. They were neighbors, and they became friends.

They married within a few years of each other, both finding men who would be by their sides until parted by death. It had never occurred to them that their husbands would not get along, but in fact that is what happened. It never occurred to them that they would move to what might as well be different parts of the universe – suburbs at opposing ends of the city, with a 2 hour drive if there was no traffic. But that is what happened as well.

Yet they remained as close as if they still lived within blocks of each other.

When Eileen was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in her late 20′s, and through the ups and downs of the years she battled her illness, Eileen and my mom were together. When my mother lost her first child early in her marriage, and then later, through the sudden loss of the husband she adored, Eileen and my mom were together. Through the all-consuming days of raising their families, the distance between them, the trials of their lives – Eileen and my mom were together.

After my dad died, my mom made the hardest decision of her life – to move 3,000 miles from the place she had called home for 65 years, to the desert in Tucson to be near my family. And within just a few years, finding it more and more difficult to maneuver her wheelchair in the snow and slush, Eileen and her husband moved 2 blocks away from my mom.

After all those years, they were once again neighbors and friends.

To the end, they could talk about anything. To the end, they understood each other. They trusted each other, depended on each other, were generous and kind to each other, protective and accepting of each other, of their kids and grandkids. And to the end, they continued to laugh – Eileen, so debilitated by 45 years of her illness, and my mom, nearing 80 years old herself. When they were together, they remained as cute and sassy as those days when they had first met, talking about boys and giggling on the way home from work.

That is friendship.

That is what this book is about.

Friendship is about kindness and generosity and compassion. It is about reciprocity, about that 2-way street of dependability, trust, nurturing. It is about feeling protective, wanting to ensure no harm comes to your friend.

Friendship is not about what we get, but what we give. It is about gratitude, graciously giving thanks for the gift of that friendship.

Friendship is about the third entity that is created when we are together – not “me” and “you”, but the “us” that is more powerful than simply 2 individuals coming together.

Friendship rejoices when there are reasons to celebrate – both the big things and the little things (especially the little things). And friendship feels real pain when one of those friends is suffering.

Friends know each other better than anyone else in the world. When spouses are also friends, when parents and children are also friends, outsiders can tell just by watching them together. There is joy surrounding them.

Friendship can grow slowly and consistently over time, or it can hit you between the eyes the moment you meet, as if you have known each other all your lives. We cannot force it either way, but fast or slow, when it is right, we both know it.

Friends share advice, wisdom, and yes, gossip. Friends trust that what their friend says is true. They acknowledge each others’ flaws and do not let foolish things get in the way of their friendship.

Long term friends find joy in watching each other change and grow over time.

It is not surprising the producers of the television show “Friends” chose the theme song they did, because if there is any theme that sums up friendship, it is those words: “I’ll be there for you.”

That is what this book is about. When you engage with members of your community in real friendship – not that euphemism for wanting their money, but true friendship – your community will never let your mission die. And that is because your friends will be part of that “us” you have created – that thing that is bigger than each of you separately could ever be – the us of a community working together to build a better place to live.

You will no longer be just neighbors. You will be real friends.

There are more excerpts from the book online here. Please read them, and then pick up the phone, call a friend of your organization – a real friend – and thank them for always being there for you.