Archive for November, 2007

Holiday Gifts for a Better World

If there is one thing the world does NOT need right now, it is lots of people buying lots of useless stuff, racking up more credit card debt in the name of Peace on Earth / Goodwill to Men.

But on the flip side, if there is one thing the world DOES need right now, it is connection, tenderness, sweetness. Yes, what the world needs now is love! (Great, now I can’t get the image out of my head – Burt Bacharach on the top level of that double decker bus in Austin Powers!)

So here is the start of a holiday gift list that
a) will create connection,
b) friends and family will love, and
c) is free or cheap!

Please let’s add to this list. It will be a great resource to pull out in years to come, as we are all trying to figure out what to do!

Special Note for Community Organizations
Many of these can be adapted for your organization’s use, not just now but throughout the year. They will make great suggestions for your donors and volunteers as well. If you have other ideas that have worked for you, to engage folks even more during the holidays (not to increase donations – to increase connection), please share!

Doing Something
My 50th birthday taught me that having a friend spend an hour fixing my kitchen sink (a drip I had simply grown accustomed to) was a GREAT gift! So I have decided to pay that forward this year, helping friends with the little nagging chores they don’t want to do.

And by the way – points are deducted if you give them a certificate to do it and then never do it. That will apply to a number of these. (I have a pile of those certificates at home, some dating back to 1993, all waiting to be redeemed. And yes, you know who you are!)

Spending Time Together
This seems like a no-brainer, but our friends and family want time with us more than they want yet another bottle of perfume or another shirt.

I am on the road so much, my mom has threatened to carry a large photo of me wherever she goes, to remind her of what I look like. (She can’t help it; she’s Jewish. The guilt is genetic.) But even when we’re not traveling, life is just so busy. So every year, my mom and I set aside an evening that starts with an early supper. Then I drive her all over town, looking at Christmas lights. We head up to the resorts, we drive through Winterhaven – Tucson’s way-over-the-top Christmas neighborhood.

Even if it’s just setting aside every third Tuesday for breakfast with a friend (something I need to start up again, now that I think of it), time together is WAY better than presents.

Don’t Just Donate to Charity
Yes, definitely donate to charity. But what if, in addition to donating, you and your friend or loved one spend some time together volunteering at their favorite charity? Donations are great, but giving a cash donation and spending time together is fun!

Buy Used
Goodwill. Craig’s List. Great gifts, cheap prices, recycling, saving the planet. ‘Nuff said.

A Friend in Need

Many of us have had rough patches in our lives, when, for whatever reason, we needed a bit of a financial boost. Sometimes it is when we are first out of college. Sometimes it is later on – a crisis hits, and life falls apart.

Having been there, I know the best gifts I got during those times were gift certificates for the basics. Target, the supermarket, Home Depot, the drug store. For anyone going through a rough time, or for college kids just getting started after graduation, I just remember the peace of mind those gifts always brought me. We tend to want to get folks something to splurge a little when times are tough, but in truth, knowing you can make ends meet that month is sometimes the best splurge there is.

Giving an Experience
When my daughter, Lizzie, was little, one of her favorite movies was Singin’ in the Rain. (Oh that video! Over and over and over and over and over. But I digress…) One holiday season a few years ago, when my best friend’s daughter was 7 or so, Lizzie noticed that Singin’ in the Rain was playing on the big screen at our local art cinema.

So we bought 7-year-old Millie the video, and we took her to see the movie on the big screen. And sure enough, it became a favorite of hers. (Over and over and over. Her mom was ready to kill us!)

I know Millie would have soon forgotten just another doll or video game. But she will remember going to see Singin’ in the Rain!

Starting a Tradition
It has always been hard to find the right gift for my mom. But when Lizzie was born, the dilemma multiplied – now I had to get two gifts, one from me, and one from my mother’s new granddaughter!

One day, while I was shopping, I found a pair of funky socks I knew my mom would like. From that point on, for every holiday, every birthday, every Mother’s Day, Lizzie got Grandma socks. As Lizzie grew up, we would go sock shopping together. And now that she is grown, she always knows what to get Grandma. (Imagine my mother’s pride when Lizzie was working on Capitol Hill and got her a pair of Congressional Socks!)

My mother beams from ear to ear as she tells how her friends always check out her feet first thing when they see her, to see which socks she is wearing!

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Ok – I’m out of ideas. Anyone else have ideas you’ve used that connect lives rather than collect junk?

Now if you’ll forgive me, I need to go get that song out of my head. “What the world needs now, is love sweet love…”

Photo Credit: Hildy

The California Fires and Community Engagement (Part 5 – The Final Installment)

This post wraps up our journey. To read from the beginning, start here.

Week 4:
It is the fourth Wednesday since we left home. Two weeks with California’s Fire Safe Councils during the California Fires. Week 3, meetings with community groups and keynoting AFP’s Philanthropy Day luncheon in Reno, Nevada.

Now, for Week 4, we’re in Fresno, California. First, we get to do a book-signing workshop. Then we get to spend time with the collaboration of collaboratives that has hosted our being there. Talk about understanding that everything is interconnected! *

What started as a question among workshop attendees from California’s Fire Safe Councils, and then grew to a roar against the backdrop of the fires, has become the lens through which we are now seeing everything – from individual people to individual organizations to whole communities – wherever we go.

By working together, we can create the future we want to see.

More compassion. More health. More vibrance. More resilience.

For our individual lives, for our communities, for our planet.

The beauty is that we are all already interconnected. We do not need to start from scratch. We just need to activate the connections and relationships that already exist.

And the time for that action is now.

Week 4 Becomes Personal:
From Fresno, we head to L.A., where we spend the day with colleagues and friends. After weeks with group after group, a whole day of intimate one-on-one conversation with people we enjoy, just sitting in various restaurants around town in jeans and sneakers – is deliciously refreshing, even if most of that conversation is about work.

Dinner is with a former intern – a 30 year old man who was 22 the last time we saw him. After years in the business world in L.A., Adam emailed for advice – he wants to be doing more community work. Being able to discuss his future, not via email or phone, but over dinner, is a treat.

From L.A., we head to Palm Springs to visit two dear friends, one of whom is beginning to fade from Lewy Body Dementia. Unlike Alzheimers, those with Lewy Body are conscious of what is happening to them, watching as their lives rapidly change.

In his real life, J. is playful and sweet, funny and brilliant. Now he watches himself fading, forgetting, losing capacity while gaining hallucinations. His wife shares that he has not been able to track more than the simplest conversation in months.

But the evening we spend together, filled with stories, has his rapt attention. For hours, he is right there, present and engaged. The gift of this evening is lost on none of us. For us, it is the reward as Trip 1 ends and Trip 2 begins.


The Journey Continues:
Danbury, Connecticut – The Perfect Wrap-Up
We are home just 2 days (enough to do laundry and pay bills), when we board a plane for Danbury, Connecticut. Danbury’s community leaders always surprise us by how much they accomplish between our visits. What happens in months in Danbury can take years (or not happen at all) elsewhere.

Our first stop is a large group of funders who are already deeply engaged in creating community change, having pooled their various resources to build Danbury’s Nonprofit Resource Center. Seeing what they have accomplished together that none of them could have done individually, their question is, “What’s next?”

From there, we meet with Danbury Hospital – a hospital whose leaders see Community Benefit as something more than an IRS term – and then with the ever-visionary United Way of Western Connecticut. Both want to focus on Community Engagement steps beyond simply engaging people in the issues. They want that engagement to become action. And they want to do this by Gardening in the Front Yard – integrally involving the community in doing the hands-on work of creating its own community change.

We know from our own work that there is an invisible, interconnected web in every community, just waiting to be activated to create real community change. Danbury’s leaders see that web. After a month of introducing these concepts to communities yearning for such connection, it is inspiring to be with folks who are ready to take the next step, turning that web into action.

Only Connect:
Flying home, we are exhilarated and exhausted.

We have spent five weeks in witness to the simple yet overpowering essence of Community Engagement laid bare – inspiring and activating the desire we all have to make our lives as joyful and positive as possible.

And as I consider that simple truth, I am overcome by the words of Zen Master Daisetz Suzuki, when asked about the meaning of Zen – words that have become the heart of my own daily meditation:

Infinite gratitude for all things past,
Infinite service to all things present,
Infinite responsibility to all things future.

Those three words – gratitude, service, responsibility – clearly define the work of those dedicated Californians who are fighting to make their communities Fire Safe. The fires have reminded us of that.

3,000 miles away, we watch as Danbury’s leaders build upon the past, provide service to the present, take aim at the future. The changing colors of autumn remind us that, like the trees themselves, we all carry the past, the present and the future inside us, all the time. Gratitude. Service. Responsibility.

The power to create the future is ours. We are already deeply embedded in each other’s lives, far more interconnected than we are independent. There is so much we can do together that we simply cannot do on our own.

It is time we linked arms and got to work.

*Our thanks to the following four groups who are learning and working together, and who hosted our ability to be in Fresno – the Fresno Coalition for Art, Science and History; United Way of Fresno; the Fresno Business Council; and the Fresno Nonprofit Advancement Council – all working together. We look forward to seeing where the journey brings us!

Photo credits: Dimitri Petropolis

The California Fires and Community Engagement (Part 4)

To read about our journey from the beginning, start here.

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Week 3:
We are heading into the 3rd week of our journey. This portion of the trip will have nothing to do with fire. I am scheduled to keynote the AFP Philanthropy Day luncheon in Reno, Nevada, where I will address 300 community leaders about “Engaged Philanthropy.”

The context may be different from our two weeks with the Fire Safe Councils. And the setting may be different. But the topic – building an engaged community to effect more significant change – that seems to be the only thing that matters, wherever we go, whatever the group’s mission.

Engagement and the Arts
Our first stop in Reno is Sierra Arts, a community arts group glorifying every sense of the word “community.” The mission of Sierra Arts is to promote and support the arts in northern Nevada. But that does not begin to describe what they are and what they do.

Sierra Arts provides arts education programs in local schools.
Sierra Arts provides venues for local artists.
Sierra Arts has renovated a historic downtown building, to create housing for artists of all kinds – visual, theatrical, written, musical – you name it!

And what are the issues they share with us?

How do we engage the community in a shared sense of what the arts mean to the region? How do we engage folks in seeing that the arts are not separate from everything else, but an integral part of being human?

Engagement and Funding
From Sierra Arts, we move to a meeting with Reno’s funders. Here we learn about the changing face of this rapidly growing community. We listen to their concerns about growing philanthropy in such a rapidly changing place. We ask many of the questions we have asked in other funder forums around the country.

And the questions raised in response to our questions sound familiar.

How do we create a sense of shared responsibility for philanthropy? What could we accomplish together that we could not accomplish alone? How can we work more closely together, to effect more improvement in our community?

Substitute the word “Fire” for “Arts” or “Philanthropy” and we have the exact same questions we have heard for the past two weeks.

And in the end, it all comes down to that one word: Engagement.

Engagement:
Personalized email signatures often include an inspirational quote. The line from E.M. Forster’s Howards End has become a common one: “Only connect.”

We are all seeking connection, engagement. We are seeking it as individuals, and we are seeking it as organizations.

And whether we do Community Benefit work for a living, or we volunteer our time, donate our dollars, or simply attend a community meeting because we care about the future of the place we live – we know that we can accomplish far more together than any one of us can on his own.

After these past few weeks, the message I will provide for attendees of AFP Reno’s Philanthropy Day is simple: Linking arms together is the only way we can create a healthy, safe, vibrant, resilient future for our communities.

During the plenary workshop, I encourage organizations to engage with the community beyond just asking for money.

“Share resources,” I tell them. “Build upon the strengths of other organizations. Share wisdom, building on the strengths of individuals who care about your cause. And encourage everyone to share your own resources in return.”

During the luncheon keynote, I encourage business people to engage with the organizations they already support financially.

“You have more to share than just your dollars,” I tell them. “Share your experience and your contacts. Leverage the dollars you are already investing by adding the connection and engagement that can turn those dollars into ACTION!”

And then I encourage funders to not just give out money, but to help provide community infrastructure for convening, for sharing information.

“You already have the connections with everyone doing the work on the ground. Convene them. Work and learn alongside them. Leverage the dollars you are already investing by adding your ability to connect, to convene, to engage.”

We all want healthy, vibrant places to live. We all know it will take all of us together to make that happen.

Only connect.

Read the Final Installment here

Photo credit: Dimitri Petropolis