I just realized that this month is the 3rd anniversary of the publication of my book, FriendRaising. I feel like a mom, wondering how so many years could have passed since my baby was born!

To celebrate, I want to share a story of friendship and family and laughter. It has nothing and everything to do with the community benefit work we are all doing. (Just like of so much of life, no?)

It all started this weekend, when my brother sent a link to a video that he and his three boys made over the holiday break. The video is a hoot, and so our first “FriendRaising Birthday Gift” is a non-Rock-Out Rock Out! (Warning, if you are easily offended, the music soundtrack has an off-color word or two. You can turn the sound off and not miss a thing - except a great driving rock and roll beat.)

I know I’m biased, but I thought this was a hoot. After sharing it with some friends, my friend Mari Gewecke sent back a note that said, “Your brother must be a very fun dad.”

And before I even could think a thought, the first response that came to my fingers was, “We grew up laughing.”

Which brings me to a different part of the story. (Bear with me - it all weaves together in the end.)

Several weeks ago, my friend and colleague, Marc Pitman, had a rather heated exchange at his blog. For those who do not know Marc, he is one of the most joyful, enthusiastic people I know. He is just as excited about his fundraising work (about which he is amazingly wise) as he is about his family, and about having “planted and pastored” a church. Having Marc in my life is really and truly a treat.

Here is what Marc posted at his blog.

Our kids crack us up.
Here’s how our grace went tonight.

9 year old son: Can I say grace?

My wife, knowing he was going to literally say the word “grace”:
Only if you’ll pray, not just say “grace.”

Son: Ok, I’ll pray a real prayer.
We all bow our heads solemnly.

Son: Help.
[Pause]

Me, leaning over toward him: Would you care to expand on that?
Our 6 year old daughter, not missing a beat: Help…everybody!

We all busted out laughing.
And laughter is really the best prayer, isn’t it?

When I read that, I smiled and thought, “How wonderful that someone has such a joyful relationship with his God!”

So how could this generate an ugly exchange? Someone accused Marc’s family of laughing at the expense of Jesus. (You can read the full exchange at Marc’s blog.)

You can imagine Marc - a pastor himself - was not happy. And so, to share my support, I sent him this email:

Marc:
I don’t feel comfortable posting this at your blog, because it is not my place to be in that argument. But I did want to share this story.

When I was growing up back in New York, we had an unusually close-knit neighborhood. Everyone knew everyone, we were all friends, kids hung out playing in the street. It was as if a huge family had decided to buy every house on the street, and they shared each other’s living rooms and kitchens. Kids wandered from house to house as if they were all just our own houses.

Summers meant the doors and windows were always open, which meant, of course, that you could hear a lot of what went on inside those houses. We lived on a corner, so our family was actually projecting our own doings to TWO streets at once!

I am 51 years old and I moved to Arizona when I was 22, so you can do the math as to how many years it has been since my family was all together there. In the 20 years since my mom has moved to Arizona to be near me, she still talks almost monthly to those neighbors who are still alive.

Mrs. Stemple is one of those who calls every month. She lived directly across the street from our kitchen door, and every time she and my mom talk these days, Mrs. Stemple reminisces about what she remembers most joyfully about that time in the neighborhood: that every night at dinner time, all she would hear from our house was hysterical laughing. Every night.

All these many years later, that is the memory my neighbor has of us as a family, and she repeatedly shares that memory with my mom as they reminisce about those days.

Is that not the very nicest thing someone could say about how much love there was in my family? About how my parents raised us? About what it meant to honor the very best we humans have the potential to be with each other?

Your post reminded me of that, and it made me smile at how lucky your kids are to grow up in a home where laughter is cherished.

So keep laughing. Whatever you do, just keep laughing.

That is the story I wanted to share with you all, as we celebrate the third birthday of our bouncing baby FriendRaising book. As you head out to raise friends for your mission and for the vision of the future you are working to create, be guided by the the fact that everyone, everywhere, seeks joy and kindness.  We all wish to be free of suffering.

And whether we are appreciating a six-year-old saying her prayers or wrapping other family members in toilet paper, we all need to laugh.

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From all the planning work we did during the holiday week, our resolution for the Institute became very clear: We must remain focused on what is possible for communities around the world.

It is easy to get sucked into the murky land of problem-solving, and the sink-hole of day-to-day means. Instead, we want to stay focused on the ends. We want all our work to be vision-based first, and then choose means that align with that vision.

And what is our vision? Healthy, vibrant, resilient, humane communities creating an equally healthy, vibrant, resilient and humane world. That picture of what is possible is where we will be aiming everything we do.

It is that vision that will determine what values we will model to the world, to be sure we are being the change we want to see. Our vision will guide how we engage communities. It will be one more strength upon which we build all the systems we are building.

The energizing part of keeping that vision front-of-mind at all times is that we know that image is possible as a practical objective.  It is possible, simply because it is not impossible. As for practical, we will be spending this year much as we spent our time on the Community-Driven Tour - teaching  how to make visionary community change practical and doable.

That combination of possibility and practicality all starts with keeping our eye on the prize - our vision for a better world.

And so that is our vow for 2009. We will tether everything we do to the ultimate vision of building an extraordinary future for our communities and our world. That tether will guide us and carry us along.

As you consider the year ahead in your own work, what vision will be guiding you?  What future will you be creating for your community in 2009?

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There are Mondays when we need a Rock Out to get us through the week. And if New Years Day is anything, it is the Monday of the year - the start of whatever is to come. This very special Rock Out is therefore dedicated to the entirety of 2009.

I must confess that at the Community-Driven Institute, we are so excited about 2009, we can hardly contain ourselves!

In the next few weeks, we will be releasing The Pollyanna Principles. In the next few months, we will hold our first on-site classes for Community-Driven Consultants.

And throughout the whole year, we will be providing tons more opportunities to learn via teleclasses, listservs (yes, we still love good old-fashioned listservs!), via social media like Twitter and Facebook - and especially via live interaction in communities. And that’s just the beginning!

Everything we do this year will be focused on the singular objective of teaching the Community Benefit Sector how to create a more humane, vibrant, healthy resilient world.

With that vision in mind, what better way to welcome 2009 than to welcome you to the Library of Human Imagination.

Jay Walker, creator of (among other things) Priceline.com, is the holder of more than 200 patents. He knows in every fiber of his being that unless something is scientifically impossible, it is absolutely possible. He knows that there is a vast difference between what is simply “unlikely” and what is truly impossible.

That sense of possibility is our wish for you in this year ahead. Let’s embrace what is possible, and let’s find every means we can to bring those possibilities to reality. It may be unlikely, but so was our having an African American president. So was our traveling to the moon.

This year, let’s reach for what is possible. If we are reaching together, we will have accomplished something extraordinary just in taking those first few steps.

To each and every one of you, our very warmest wishes for a New Year filled with life’s possibilities, and, more importantly, the willingness to embrace them when they show up at your door.

Photo credit: Me. “Millennium Sunset” was taken on New Years Eve 1999, the last sunset of the millennium.

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Long-time readers here at Creating the Future have come to know Nora Lester Murad, who has graciously shared her Letters from Palestine here from time to time.

As war rages between Hamas and Israel in Gaza, I know you will want to know how Nora and her family are doing. Here is what she told me this morning:

It’s just terrible. Indescribable. Inhuman.

My husband was supposed to leave for Gaza this morning (he goes every other week), but obviously he can’t go now. He’s next to me, just calling people one after the other. They are so scared. Bombs are exploding around them. They can’t go to the store to get food, and anyway, the stores are closed. No electricity, water. Frightening.

We all just pray it will stop soon, but all indications are that it will not. What will it take for the world to cry out?

Thanks for asking about us. (And thanks for your contribution.) It really means a lot.

This is what it is like to live in a war zone. It is not about who is politically right or wrong, or who started bombing first. It is about real people trying to live real lives.

That is why, as the year draws to a close, I am going to do something I have never used this blog to do. I am going to ask you to please help Nora’s organization - Dalia Association - by clicking here to donate. Even just $10 will help.

If you are not familiar with Dalia Association, they are Palestine’s only community foundation, working to build strong communities from inside Palestine, without the external political agendas that so often accompany “international aid.”

To share why I am so passionate about the work they are doing, I want to share the following, quoted from their annual letter:

Imagine thousands of Palestinians in villages, refugee camps and cities, with tremendous ideas and energy, taking initiative to improve their local communities and the world. It shouldn’t be hard to imagine because, in fact, this happens every single day.

Unfortunately, many of these grassroots community groups are not as effective as they could be. They often lack sufficient expertise and funds, or they get exhausted working under the challenges of occupation and colonization.

These groups deserve an advocate to believe in them, fight for them, advise them, and work alongside them. Dalia Association is that advocate.

As the first and only Palestinian community foundation, Dalia Association helps grassroots community groups to mobilize their own resources and capacities. We network them to experts and donors. We provide small scale funding, whenever possible. We coach them to improve the quality and professionalism of their work. We teach them how to become more sustainable, and we work for the sustainability of the civil society sector as a whole.

In the year 2008, we:
• helped an informal women’s group turn their $7,000 idea into a proposal for a $70,000 beauty salon to train and employ village women - and we secured funding from a donor.
• published research arguing that popular participation in development is a right enshrined in international law, a right which is not being respected by the international aid system.
• facilitated an innovative grant making program in which villagers decided themselves how to invest development resources.
• conducted many financial sustainability assessments and fundraising consultations at no cost to community-based organizations.
• began a project to highlight the creative ways that Palestinians engage in philanthropy in order to dispel the myth that Palestinians are receivers not givers.
• took part in meetings in the United Arab Emirates, Morocco, the United States, and Brazil, putting Palestine on the global philanthropic agenda.

We did this, and much more, because we believe that a thriving civil society is critical to Palestinian social change and sustainable development. And we believe Palestinian civil society can’t thrive as long as it is dependent on international aid.

But the success of Dalia Association is not at all assured. If we want to reduce dependence on international aid, we need every single Palestinian and every friend of Palestinians to become a donor. Your creative ideas, volunteerism, in-kind support, and encouragement have kept us going until now, but we also need money. Every $10, $100 or $1,000 matters. We know how to make a little money go a long way.

With your continued support we are enabling Palestinian-led social change and sustainable development today and for future generations.

We all know from experience around the world that building strong communities is a deterrent to terrorism, violence and war. As we sit and watch the horrors on the TV news, feeling helpless to do anything for those who are fearing for their own survival as their communities are being destroyed, Dalia Association is working every day to build strength in those communities.

In this horrible time of war, in a place where community-building will be such a key to peace-making, please join me in supporting the work of Dalia Association, where truly, every dollar will make a huge difference.

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On behalf of the Community-Driven Institute, I have submitted an idea.

I have proposed that there be infrastructure in all communities across the country, to support Community Benefit Organizations in their work. (Details below).

I believe this is so important to the work we are all doing, that I am using today’s post to ask you to head to www.Change.org and vote for this initiative.  And if you are so inclined, I hope you will pass it along, to encourage others to vote for it as well.  (The deadline for voting is December 31 - this Wednesday - so if you are going to pass it to others, please do so quickly!)

If each and every reader at this blog clicks through to vote for this idea, it will make the first cut. That’s all it would take - if every reader here clicked and voted! So please do so now (or if you want, read below first).

The initiative I have suggested is titled “Infrastructure to Support ALL Community Organizations.” Here is how I described it at www.Change.org:

In every community, no matter how small, Nonprofit / Community Benefit Organizations are working to make that community more healthy, vibrant, and humane. Animal welfare, human services, environmental, arts, education and every issue in between - those efforts make our communities more livable.

To ensure those efforts are strong enough to simultaneously address current problems AND create a better future for our communities, ALL those organizations need help in maintaining strong internal capacity - ongoing education in running the “business” side of their efforts, help with board development and fundraising, support for working cooperatively, etc.

Communities already have infrastructure for our basic needs - police, fire, roads, water, power, sewer. We have infrastructure for schools, libraries, parks, and economic development activities. Regardless of the state of that infrastructure, it at least exists.

Imagine the dramatic results our communities would see if there was also reliable infrastructure for strengthening the work being done by all those many groups, to help build upon and expand the work they are already doing to improve our quality of life!

Those systems might include:
• Systems for organizational education (board development, fundraising, community engagement, planning and evaluation, etc.)
• Systems for facilitating cooperative approaches to community issues
• Systems to facilitate Learning Communities / Communities of Practice
• Systems to facilitate resource sharing between organizations
• Systems for community-wide program evaluation
• Systems for supporting funders in their efforts to improve their communities

Private Community Benefit Organizations have the potential to significantly improve the quality of life in our communities. It only makes sense that there be infrastructure in every community to support those efforts in every way possible.

Once the winners of this round are chosen, the top 10 ideas to emerge out of Round 2 will be presented to the Obama Administration on Inauguration Day and will be supported by a national lobbying campaign run by Change.org, MySpace, and other leaders in this sector. So each idea has a real chance at becoming policy!

As the Community-Driven Institute continues to create a movement for changing how the Community Benefit Sector does its work, having infrastructure to support ALL organizations in every community across the country will be a huge help. After reading what is posted at the link, I hope you will agree and click to vote for that initiative.

We are very excited about the possibilities this brings. Win or lose, we will continue to advocate for changes such as this, as we know it is critical to building the strength of our sector.

If anyone has any comments or thoughts about this initiative, I hope you will share them - either below in the comment section here, or in the comment section at Change.org.

But first, please - go vote!

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Helping others in homeless shelters and food banks. Giving performances in nursing homes. Figuring out how to tackle the challenges our organizations face in a turbulent economy. And of course preparing for the holidays in our own homes.

We’re rushed and stressed. We’re eating at whatever fast food place is on our way to the next place. And that is precisely where we can find the opportunity to make everything ok…

Yes, this is the same group of guys who have become the hot item on Christmas specials all over TV - Straight No Chaser. This is who they were BEFORE they were a YouTube sensation cum Atlantic Records dynamo. Regular guys singing in a fast food place.

If ever something screamed about the power of the arts to connect us with what is possible and what is important, these guys in sweatshirts at a fast food counter do just that.  The important part about art in our lives is not simply about the music - it is about our connection to that music, and the possibilities it holds. It’s not just about the guys doing the singing, but the folks behind the counter who are joyfully connecting with that singing.

Because art is not separate from life but simply the expression of life, that spirit of connectedness and possibility surrounds us, waiting for us to look up from our desks and our fears and notice it.

That connection to what is possible is there when we look beyond ourselves and out towards others. We can find it every day when we connect with our clients, our coworkers, our families. We can find it when we smile and joke with the stressed out person making minimum wage at the discount store. And unlike the quest for material wealth, the more we seek connection and possibility, the more we find it.

And so, as we begin to say goodbye to 2008 and head into the uncertainty of 2009, that spirit of connection and possibility is my wish for you. Stay connected to those who remind you that you are strong when you are feeling weak. Stay connected to those who remind you of what is possible. When all is said and done, that is what will make the difference this year - for your organization, and for yourself as well.

Have a great Monday and a great week, all.

If you are new to the Monday Morning Rock Out, you can find previous Rock Outs here - enjoy!

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Clyde is the work of my neighbor, Larry. I don’t know how long Clyde has been around, but we were introduced when we moved into the house directly across from Larry’s in 1996. For 12 years now, the holiday season is not official until Clyde is up.

I am happy to state the obvious: Clyde is goofier than goofy. He is misshapen, and he looks like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man meets the Marlboro Man meets Andre the Giant. That is part of Clyde’s charm - he is so “out there!”

But here’s the bigger part of Clyde’s charm - his sign. Every year, parents bring their kids by to hug Clyde. Couples walking by on their nightly walk - they stop and hug Clyde, too. Folks stop to talk to Larry when he is out in the yard, because face it - how can you ignore a guy with a 20 foot goofy snow-cowboy in his front yard?

Simply put, Clyde is engaging. He engages by not being afraid to be different. He engages by having a goofy smile, by being friendly to his air-filled core. And he engages by asking for nothing but a hug.

As we all seem to be figuring out how to adjust in this spiraling economic climate, and as fear grips us so easily in these times, we could all take a lesson from Clyde. There is a lot we can all learn about asking for a hug.

I don’t mean asking for money - we all seem to be doing that with an air of desperation this holiday season. I mean more than that. I mean asking for friendship. Real give and take, real respect, real love and devotion - you know - friendship!

When we ask for people’s ideas, their wisdom, their experience - the money will follow, as will a bevy of other good stuff that comes from true engagement. And I don’t mean wisdom and ideas about where to find money. I mean asking for their wisdom and ideas about your mission, your programs.

“Who have you noticed needs the most help right now? Given our mission, how can we link arms with others to provide that help? What does our community need that we can help to provide - maybe by working with others to do so? Do you have any ideas how we can be of more service?”

From there, see if there are other organizations who need a hug - and give it to them. Ask those other organizations who are in the same boat as you what THEY need the most. See how you can help them.

When times are tough, the reaction we share with the rest of the animal world is to retreat, to think first and foremost of our own survival. Through our humanity, though, we can see past the animal instinct to aim for the strength that comes when we are all working together. That is where power lies.  It is where sustainability rests.  It is also where you will find joy in the sea of despair that is threatening to eat community organizations alive this year.

So open your arms like Clyde. Embrace those other organizations who you previously considered your “competition.” Ask how you can help them. “We have so little now, but we know you also have little. Is there anything we can do to make the burden less for you?” You will be surprised how that will help you at the same time.

Between my sunflowers and Larry’s snowman, we have quite an interesting street. But one thing we have in abundance is that folks go out of their way to walk by our houses, to engage us in conversation. And when life has been hard, our neighbors have been there in amazing ways, asking how they can help.

We could all use a bit of that right now. So take a lesson from Clyde and embrace your community without expecting anything in return. You may just find, as Larry and Clyde find every day, that your community will step up and hug you right back.

For help in crafting the kinds of engaging questions that build solid friendships, this may help.

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So my gift to you this evening is a short list of some of the people who make my day better. I hope you will bring them all into your life, to brighten your days as well!

First, there is Mark Riffey. Mark is a brilliant business person who has spent many years in both the for-profit and Community Benefit worlds. To give you a sense of how long Mark has been involved in this sector, when we first met Mark, he owned a software company that provided cheap, effective donor tracking software - that ran on DOS!!!

These days Mark focuses on helping businesses grow. If you are a consultant, let Mark’s wisdom into the business side of your consulting practice, and your business will blossom.

However Mark’s wisdom is not just about business. It is about engagement. And that has everything to do with community benefit work.

Now I am the last one to suggest that Community Benefit Organizations should “run more like a business.” But how can you argue with a tweet like this: “What local business in your area is in the most trouble, economy-wise? What can your business do to help them?” This is a guy you want to listen to.

Mark’s blog is great, his email newsletter is great, his tweets are terrific. There is not a time I read Mark’s words that I am not reminded of things I can be doing, right now. And besides all that, his no-nonsense style is just plain fun!

Another gift to so many of us is Beth Kanter. “Beth’s Blog” is certainly known to techies, but for those of us who are not techies, Beth makes things easy to understand. Many techies are in love with the tools; Beth seems to be in love with what those tools can accomplish for Community Benefit Organizations, and ultimately, for our communities.

Here’s just one example, a blog post she titled, “How To Think Like A Nonprofit Social Marketing Genius.”

Even more than her blog, though, I love Beth’s use of Twitter. Her combination of social cause and techie tweets could keep me busy all day. Thank you, Beth, for all I learn from you.

Moving away from the “strictly business” side of things, one of the blogs I read the moment her posts hit my reader is Romina Oliverio’s blog. In Romina, social conscience meets poignant writing meets sharp, inquisitive mind.

Half of Romina’s posts are related to the international work she does through her various professional roles, primarily as Volunteer Manager at NABUUR - a resource that links online volunteers to villages in Africa, Asia and Latin America. Some of the groups and projects she works with are mind-blowing.

The other half of her blog is Romi’s musings, her frustrations, her life - from a trailer for Amelie (oh I do love that movie) and an introduction to great music, to her lamenting the injustice she finds in the world.

I found Romi’s blog by accident - a Google alert I have set for one word or another. And I confess it is the only time, in all the time I have been checking my Google alerts, that I not only read the post it linked me to, but stayed there for hours, reading everything she had posted in her relatively new blog. One reason I kept clicking and reading is clearly her writing, which is great. Her voice is another reason, though, and her heart another. I consider Romina’s blog a treat, a joyful grab bag where I never know what I will find when I put my hand in to pick out a prize. (Not to mention my gratitude for the great advice she gave Dimitri and me re: where to visit in her hometown of Toronto,)

Lastly, there is one other blog I read the moment a post hits my reader, because something about it connects and resonates. And that is Jeane Vogel’s blog about the impact of art on life, and the impact of life on art.

I have shared Jeane’s work here before (yes, that is one of her pieces at the top of this post).  And I confess I am in love with almost every piece she has ever done. I always feel I am falling into her pieces, like they are somehow enveloping me.

But it is Jeane’s words that make me want to sing and shout and explore the real essence and value of art. Her words are the fierce proclamation that art is power. I happen to agree with her on that - a lot.

And so, from the practical to the sublime, those are my gifts to you on this evening after spending a day wrapping and packing client gifts.

These gifts do have one small string attached. And that is that you share your own favorites with all of us. Which blogs and tweets make you sit up and take notice? Which make you sing and want to explore? Which feeds do you read the moment they hit your reader?

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For those new to the Monday Morning Rock Out, welcome! Grab a cup of coffee, and spend the next 5 minutes getting your juices flowing, so you can get out there and change the world!

Pollyanna Principle #3 (sneak preview!) says, “Everything and everyone is interconnected and interdependent, whether we acknowledge that or not.”

Everyone. Everything. Around the whole world.

Playing for Change, the folks who created this effort, is a multimedia movement created to inspire, connect and bring peace to the world through music.

And oh does that inspired connection feel good! Each of these individuals, across the seas and the skies, is joyfully connecting to each other and to each of us, sitting at our desks right now. And we are all smiling.

Smiles connect us. Songs connect us. Joy connects us. And research has shown that such happiness is contagious - that it is actually more contagious than sadness!

So this week, tap into something joyful and connected. Sing out loud. Go see Happy Go Lucky. Breathe deep and smile at the moment you have been given.

Then share that smile with the people you work with, the clients you help, the cashier at the convenience store. You’ll be creating their future, and your own.

Have a great Monday and a great week, all!

(If you are new to the Monday Morning Rock Out, you can find previous Rock Outs here - enjoy!)

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I had no idea when I logged on to LinkedIn this Monday that I would be so profoundly moved by a simple question. But the question David North asked about showing gratitude for those who inspire us - the question that led to my post on Monday - it has stayed with me all week long.

Then today, a thought smacked me in the head, that I just cannot seem to shake.

In my post on Monday, I shared the meditation that puts everything in perspective for me, in my work with Community Benefit Organizations and in the rest of life.

Infinite gratitude for all things past.
Infinite service to all things present.
Infinite responsibility for all things future.

So here is the thought that attacked me today and will not let go. It came in two parts:
1) To live a life of gratitude, we would be grateful to everything and everyone in our lives. That would mean infinite gratitude to our clients, patrons, program participants.

Fair enough. But now the head-smacking question:

2) Gratitude for what?  Why are we grateful to the people who walk through our doors?  If it weren’t for our clients… what?  What words fill in that blank?

That’s when it hit me: Probably the top-of-mind, without-thinking-about-it answer for most of us would be something related to our own or our organization’s survival.

• If it weren’t for the patients at our clinic, I wouldn’t have a job.
• If it weren’t for the patrons at our theater, we couldn’t keep the doors open.
• If it weren’t for the clients at our food bank, I would be on Food Stamps myself!

Tell the truth - when you saw the question, “Why are you grateful to your clients?” was that your instinctive response?  (If not, please share what was!).

Talk about an eye-opener! If we are to truly be of service to our clients, is this really the emotional base from which we are providing that service?  How does that color the service we provide?

And because we are indeed creating our clients’ future - simply because the cause-and-effect of everything we do creates the future, just as the past created today - what future is that creating for those clients, for ourselves, for our communities?  Is it the future we had hoped to create?

So, dear readers, what do you think?  If we set aside the clients-as-job-security answer for a moment and dig deeper - how would you answer the question:

Why are you grateful to the people who use your services?
If it weren’t for them… what?
And what might that spirit of gratitude change about your work?

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