One of the core assumptions underlying our Community-Driven work is that we are all interconnected and interdependent. Today was one of those days that reminded me of that at every turn. The shootings, of course - how could that not. But then the rest of the day as well.
Spending the evening with my mother on her 83rd birthday, listening to the joy in her voice as she listed everyone who had called and emailed her today, to wish her well. One of those people was Dimitri’s dad, 83 himself and living in a nursing facility. And Dimitri told me his dad felt so good when he got off the phone. “She sounded so happy I called!” His dad was in a good mood from there on, just from having made that call, that connection.
We accomplish so much together that we cannot accomplish apart. We find such joy in each other, such peace.
And to build off Naava’s comments on my post about prescribing, perhaps that is where the safety lies. We won’t find safety only in ourselves, but in others. And the safer we make sure everyone is, the safer we are ourselves. It’s not about us individually, but about the connections, the interdependence. And contrary to what some powers-that-be would have us believe, there is no safety in some being safe while others are not. There is only safety in our all being safe, together. When others are not safe, neither are we.
So what does that mean for the sector? What does it mean for building a better future? I have my thoughts, but what have you seen that gives you hope for building this sector’s work on our interconnectedness and interdependence?
Great discussion on books that shock at Robin Brande’s blog - here: http://www.robinbrande.com/reading/issue-books .
Programs that create a better future don’t just tell stories - they engage people in those stories. It’s easy to shock, but after a while, is anyone listening? More to the point, is anyone doing something about what they hear?
If we don’t engage, inspire, encourage - then we are just telling a horror story, and hoping someone, somewhere, will be shocked into action. So many millions of people uninsured, getting lousy healthcare. So many people killed in a war. The world is in such a horrible mess.
That approach hasn’t worked so far - why do we continue to do it, thinking at some point it might? Isn’t that the definition of insanity?
So what do you all think? Have you found effective ways of convening and engaging honest conversation that moves us forward? Something that gets beyond the shock value and the photos of the kids with cleft palettes and on to more meaningful dialogue? Anyone have stories of what has worked?
The difference in the end result when we prescribe what others should do, vs. inspiring and encouraging them towards their own aspirations - it is so clear to me, and so consistently amazing when it is not clear to those who insist on prescribing what others should do. When we tell someone what to do, it becomes a battle of wills. “I’ve told him a million times, and he just refuses to listen to me!â€
When we instead aim them at their own highest potential, they figure it out for themselves. They self-motivate. It is so fun to watch when we just aim folks at what they want as the result, and help them figure out for themselves how to remove the barriers.
But what to do if the “problem to be solved†is the very act of prescribing? What to do when we are watching a prescriber digging a deeper and deeper hole simply by dictating what others should do? How does one inspire and encourage the prescriber? Because truly my first reaction to those who are always in “should†mode is to prescribe that they stop!
Sometimes life feels like a hall of mirrors, endlessly watching as this becomes that becomes this again, all eventually reflecting me back to me. It’s an endless lesson in the fact that the issues I see in others are usually first issues I am failing to see in myself. How do I get past my own prescriptions, and instead inspire/encourage someone to inspire/encourage others?
If I only I didn’t need to come up with a plan in time for a meeting this afternoon…
